Some time ago, some scientists (like Piaget, Vygotsky, Bowlbly, Erikson and Massey) marked some important fields in the developmental psychology study map, helping us better understand the creative tension between the individual and the rest of the world in the time that each of us has to “make a life”.

Massey gently puts it that “up to the age of seven, we are like sponges, absorbing everything around us and accepting much of it as true”.

The truth is we “act” like ducklings many times in our life; not just at birth but also when the novelty and intensity of the situation outweighs our resources to focus on, select and process information as it is.

The ducklings comparison and the sponge metaphor refer to what psychologists call “imprinting”, that is an intrinsic ability to accurately memorize the characteristics of a specific stimulus and react to it in a specific way.

Ducklings get attached to any moving objects first shown to them immediately in the first hours after hatching.

Babies react pretty much the same in strict laboratory conditions (therefore unethical) and rare cases of children who grew up with animals give some raw data on this phenomenon and other complex issues such as language acquisition and cognitive development.

Nonetheless, we act like ducklings more often than we think.

In fact, we are “born again” every time something dramatic happens.

Such as, when we fall in love or have a crush on somebody. Due to the chemical imbalance in our brain associated with that intense feeling of love at first sight, we are prone to react towards the one we fell in love with just like recently hatched geese.

The imprinting residual effects can be observed in time in the following conditions:
- we make our first impression about that person and then we find that our impression is not accurate at all (so, we naturally exaggerate the difference because of the emotional shock suffered – “dissapointment”)
- we make our first impression and try to act like the one we think we love
- we tend to reconsider what we do in terms of what the other person is doing
- we feel emotionally attached and we fear being dumped
- we follow that person around and change our habits for that person, therefore increasing our chances to get even more “imprinted” with specific information

I think I could go on with the list, but I’d rather conclude with a practical advice:

If you had a conflict with your beloved one in the early stages of your relationship or a misunderstanding occurred, it would be wise of you to just let time do its job. It will be difficult for you to change those first impressions and even harder to prevent them from interfering with how you see things.

I have seen this happen in my case and I believe it is rather useless to make the other person change her mind about you, once you get involved in something and one of you or both just blow it.